Journey to a Radiant Femininity Through Touch in Victoria, BC
In year 2009 I started facilitating deep sexual healing work in women, assisting them to discover the amazingly powerful treasures their bodies possess. I engage my whole being in this work and offer my presence in every way. On the physical level I only use my hands to facilitate the process, i.e. there is no intercourse — for our mutual safety.
"... My experience was very powerful and not something I can easily describe to others and put into words. I honestly didn't know what my body was capable of, and I felt myself open up and experience sensation and pleasure in ways I never knew possible. I knew I was going through a healing process as I felt my body release and open up several times throughout the process, and I cried a lot!! ..."
Originally this work started with an intention to help women deepen their sexual experience by having better and stronger orgasms and enabling them to see what their body is really capable of. The feedback from the women I have worked with has quickly reframed this work into something much bigger than an amazing sexual experience. Something where the sexual empowerment was only part of the outcome but the main benefits were of completely transforming their view of themselves and men, restructuring their belief systems and allowing them to be in their full power.
... I remained in this bliss for some days following the massage. I noticed a new kind of openness in the way I relate to people and life. I feel lighter and more grounded in my body. I am loving myself more and more each day. I see the beauty in surrender and trust, not only during a yoni massage, but in life. Beautiful. ...
Through this work I have been privileged to be in the presence of the magical transformation each and every women has gone through by fearlessly (or fearfully at times) jumping into the unknown and discovering their amazing femininity in its many forms and shapes, their faces shining with delight and wonder.
Note: practitioners use various names for this kind of intimacy healing work — yoni massage therapy, tantric massage, sacred sexual healing, tantric touch, etc. — there is no agreement on the perfect name, therefore different people know the work by different names. And different practitioners may offer a totally different experience while calling it by the same name. So if you have received let's say a yoni massage in the past, your experience working with me may be quite different from what you have experienced in the past.
The following document attempts to address any questions and concerns you may have about the process. If your heart and body are calling for this kind of work please kindly take your time to read it slowly and see how your body responds. If after reading it you have questions or concerns that haven't been covered, please kindly email me those questions.
Why Do It
While it may feel safer for a women to receive an intimate massage from another women, working with a man opens up a new area of healing having a powerful and positive experience:
- can rewrite the past which may have been filled with many negative experiences replacing it with a blissfully positive one
- create an opportunity to receive the unconditional love being offered
- it allows openness to receive what is being given in a way that is intangibly meaningful
- creates an opening for the ripples of healing to spill over into everyday life, where you likely interact with men on various levels.
- presents a totally new experience in love in relationship to how you relate to your body in the presence of a man
In a very safe environment it allows a very gently dismantle of the negative belief structures, such as:
- I have never been able to experience deep pleasure with men in my life
- I'm not as good as other women
- I do not feel beautiful
- men have only been taking advantage of me
- no one knows how touch me
The empty space created by the removal of the negative beliefs gets filled with positive experiences, such as:
- you feel more in touch with yourself
- you feel loved and worthy of love from others by just being you
- you unconditionally love yourself
- you are safe
- you are physically capable of experiencing this joy and pleasure and share it with someone else
The sexual tension can be relieved, but unless the belief system is transformed, the tension will continue coming back all the time. It's not enough to deal with just the physical body, but requires an integration of the emotional and mental layers.
... I released a lot of guilt and shame about my sexuality which I think all woman can relate to in some way. During the massage I just knew that every woman needs this experience to understand the beauty of our feminine nature and to feel comfortable to express this freely. I had a beautiful laughing orgasm that was the playfulness of the ever-changing feminine. I felt a pure innocence in that moment, a kind of guilt-free enjoyment of being pleasured by a man I totally trust. Amazing! ...
This is an opportunity to interact with a man in a way you most likely long for — being listened to and heard, be seen for who you really are, lovingly held and caressed, cared for, adored as a women, showered with attention. This extends much further than just sexual healing — being truly loved, completely for all of your body and soul, all the layers. After being clearly seen, deeply accepted, fully embraced in this most vulnerable area, all other aspects of your life can be tackled with ease. When you are in your true power no mountain is too big.
After having such an experience the hope that healthy intimacy is again possible resurges with newfound enthusiasm. You will have the knowing that you can be you, that you are unbroken, you are already perfect.
Also since you and I do not engage sexually this work doesn't threaten any of your existing structures, relationships and agreements. In fact it often supports your ability to go deeper in those other areas of your life. This is an opportunity to explore your sexuality and its deep healing potential in a way that asks you to give nothing in return, but a loving attention to yourself.
Finally, there are different paths to reaching deep transformation, each wonderful and unique in their own way. One of the most powerful and natural paths is through work with sexual energy which is readily available and abundant. Most of the time we only see the tip of that huge iceberg. It's interesting that in the west the word Tantra is a synonym to sex, which is a huge misconception. In the eastern traditions Tantra encompasses many different paths, sexuality being just one of them. Yet those traditions acknowledge that work with sexual energy is extremely powerful and transformational. I have been studying many of the tantric approaches to transformation and I can acknowledge that working with sexual energy and kundalini is extremely powerful and potent, and that amazing things can be done using it when it's done in a wise way.
... What happened to me in this experience was quite transformational. Before this I had no idea the depths of pleasure that were possible and so deep in the bed without even needing to be touched I was experiencing huge rushes of energy moving upwards and outwards through all the levels if my being. It was such a healing process I was going through extremes of feeling. Most predominantly intense pleasure (like i'd never felt before and didn't know was possible) and deep peace and stillness from within. Quite literally afterwards I was up in a cosmic realm for many hours in a total bliss state of love and divine connection. ...
The Perfect Outcome
If there is such a thing as the perfect outcome, my intention is for you to experience the following during and after the session:
- OMG, I have an amazing body.
- I am not broken.
- I am enough.
- There is so much to love.
- and of course a mandatory girl's blush because she has been seen fully.
Of course we can't force your growing process to be any faster than what you are ready for, so even if you only tap slightly in any of the above, that would be an amazing achievement.
And the perfect outcome for myself as a fascilitator would be me engaging myself fully in:
- shining light that illuminates those dark, hidden, unfamiliar, painful and unloved areas of yourself. This light will reflect the beauty, pleasure, power and love in the mirror of your soul.
- holding space to support you doing all the seeing, forgiving, accepting, loving and enjoying all those parts so that they could become more accessible to you in your daily life.
Moreover, this process will usher you on a path of healing and transforming your whole being. And therefore, your "simple" intention to have a better and more satisfying sexual life has no choice, but to lead you to more rich and satisfying experiences in all areas of your life. And having a healthy and powerful sexual life will provide a necessary energy to make all those other transformations happen.
Rules Of Engagement
Carefully crafted boundaries create a safe place for us to engage in this special work together in a gentle, supportive, and safe manner. The rules of engagement are designed to create a condition for you to relax and receive the depth that this process can provide meanwhile giving you the emotional freedom to surrender fully to the process without concern.
- This is a one-way process and you receive my complete unwavering attention presence. It is important to understand that your only job is to relax and receive what is being offered. There is nothing you need to give back and thinking of giving something back will only distract you from receiving the depths this process creates. This will allow you to fully surrender and receive without your mind being preoccupied with how you should give back or respond. This is an opportunity to free yourself from expectations (of yourself and from others). This process is completely, 100% about you.
- You don't need to worry if unexpected reactions arise, you can completely relax and let your body express itself fully in whatever way it chooses in each moment, instead of thinking it through in your head. Other than precautionary boundaries we co-create for your physical safety and wellbeing you are free to let your body express itself in whatever form that comes. Without giving yourself that permission you will never know what your body is really capable of.
- Under no circumstances will I engage sexually (other than using my hands) with you during or after the work. This is a one-way experience. Therefore you can relax your mind fully as you don't need to worry about anticipating what comes next, worrying, or planning the next move. The sole purpose of this work is centering yourself on your sexual body, activating it to its full potential, giving yourself to the healing process, and discovering new possibilities for your sexual expression and experience. When the process is over we can discuss how you can integrate what you learned in your sexual life with a current or future partner. My role in this process is of a facilitator of your own discovery, nothing more.
- Most of the time my clients don't know me personally and therefore it's a completely clean slate with no personal history. This allows you to be fully present in your body without any social prerequisites. You never need to worry about what will/might happen after, since this is a strictly professional and therapeutic relationship. It is completely under your control whether you'd like to continue working with me after our first session. Many women discover that the echoes of a single session are transformative enough and do not require more than one session. This work has no past or future involved, only the present. Things are slightly different if you come back for more healing work, but usually your very powerful previous experience would quickly merge into the present experience, creating a continuity.
I find that for this process to work well it is important to have the boundaries clearly established ahead of time. It creates all the conditions for you to feel safe to turn your mind off for the duration of the work. This deep relaxation and security allow you to witness the miracles unfolding. This type of work ripples into your being for a long time after you have left and there will be plenty of opportunities to (mentally) process the experience at a later time. During the process you might slip back into the thinking mode, but worry not — I will gently guide you back into your body. You don't need to worry about anything — just enjoy the ride.
... He held the space for me in a way which no other man has been able to do — he allowed me to have a very deep experience, physically, energetically and most importantly emotionally. Throughout the whole process I felt safe and protected. He gave me permission to access a part of my sexuality which I would normally hide away from. This was extremely liberating, as well as incredibly pleasurable. The massages helped me to undergo some very profound shifts around my femininity, orgasmic potential and sexual essence. ...
The process involves the following stages, which in reality merge into the uninterrupted flow when we do the work:
- We establish a safe sacred container between us which will be used for the duration of the process and our work together. I will explain in details the process and you will be able to ask any questions, make requests, etc.
- We start the journey with a relaxation massage (a combination of deep tissue and light sensual massage) to help the body and mind relax and become fully present in your body. Before we embark on this journey you will engage your olfactory senses and choose your own blend of essential oils that feels right for you at that moment. I will use this individual blend during the massage.
- At this stage you will feel safe and relaxed and the sensual fire is ready to be stoked. We start by gently working with your erogenous zones, playfully discovering what makes your body excited and little by little increasing the stimulation, playing with and inside your yoni, breasts, anus (if you find it exciting) and anywhere else that seems to bring completeness to your experience.
- Now that your body is on fire the main part of the process starts — we go into intense intimate work. At times this can bring out a huge range of emotions from gentle crying to intense laughter, loud screaming, shaking, and many other manifestations. This is a perfect expression if it happens and a perfect expression if it doesn't. Each women is unique and each release process is therefore very unique as well. Anything that arises is your perfection expressing itself. We continue at this higher intensity level as long as it appears that it supports the healing and deep self-discovery of the process. If it appears that we need to slow down, we do so, if the orgasmic fire comes up again we work with it again, for some this is a wave process, for others it's a non-stop ecstasy.
- When your body had its fill of the deep orgasmic workout and healing we will start a winding down process to help you land back in this world. A gentle massage, energy work, and being held if desired accomplish that coming back process. This is a very grounding and nurturing part of the journey.
- Now that you have landed I will treat you with decadence while you're winding down. While the details of this will remain a surprise if you have any special wishes please don't hesitate to make it known to me ahead of time.
- We conclude by verbally sharing our experiences, answering any of your questions, and giving recommendations for further reading and studying materials in order for you to take this experience and integrate it into your daily life. This will allow you to continue nurturing and expanding your sexual life, which would bring a huge positive impact on all aspects of your life.
It's important to understand that the described steps of the process are just to give you an idea of how it works — I have no agenda to meet. This is about you. I will adjust to match your needs, go faster or slower, stop and resume, talk or not talk, go harder or gentler, etc. — it's my desire to create as perfect of an experience as possible for you so that you can fully experience the amazing gift that you are.
I highly recommend engaging in the process this way, slowly allowing yourself to go deeper and deeper, especially if you have even the smallest sexual traumas (many of which you might not be aware of). As most women know the more their body is relaxed the more pleasure they get, so few try to skip any preliminary stages and rush to the intense part of the process.
... I breathed into the process and allowed myself to open up to new and deeper levels. My first orgasm from my cervix, I cried and cried. I somehow felt myself connected to, and crying for, all the pain of the world, while simultaneously crying for the little girl inside of me who didn't feel loved. I felt myself turn into the little girl and simply release, and open up to greater love. I felt my heart open up in a magnificent way. ...
Open communication is a must at all times (i.e. at any moment you can communicate your needs even if they change very abruptly). I recommend using body language as much as possible since talking may move you out of your body into your mind but you can use whatever form of communication fits for you. Most of the time it is easy for me to read your body's needs by just being very present with you.
Before we start the process or during it you can tell me what areas you'd like me to work on or not. I work in a very intuitive way and usually whatever needs to come up will come up on its own. If you discover that you enjoy me working on some area a lot and at some point I moved on to another area you can always ask me to come back and give you more attention in that area. In other words you can ask for as much or as little as you want. It is important to let your body do the talking rather than your mind.
As far as what the possible outcomes might be for you from this kind of work, I prefer to let the following testimonials speak for themselves:
In the last 5 years I have received many Tantric massages from different practitioners, both male and female. The yoni massages I had with Stas were very special. He held the space for me in a way which no other man has been able to do — he allowed me to have a very deep experience, physically, energetically and most importantly emotionally.
Throughout the whole process I felt safe and protected. He gave me permission to access a part of my sexuality which I would normally hide away from. This was extremely liberating, as well as incredibly pleasurable. The massages helped me to undergo some very profound shifts around my femininity, orgasmic potential and sexual essence.
Stas has a very beautiful, clean energy. He performs his massages with the utmost integrity, maturity and professionalism. Stas is someone I highly recommend in this field. Mangala Holland
"Intimate healing massage experience with Stas Bekman"
My experience with Stas was deeply healing in so many more ways than I could have imagined. I tried not to have any expectations going into this journey and I think this made the unexpected results even more profound. Stas made me feel so comfortable from the first meeting we had to discuss the massage. He is incredibly lucid and beautifully present when he engages with you and this presence comforted me throughout the session and allowed me to open up in ways that I had not known before.
I released a lot of pent up sexual energy, blocks that I've probably had for years. I had some beautifully cathartic crying orgasms that felt like a release of everything emotionally painful I'd been holding onto for years. I could actually feel some huge energy blocks give way to openness the more I surrendered to the process. Totally liberating!
I released a lot of guilt and shame about my sexuality which I think all woman can relate to in some way. During the massage I just knew that every woman needs this experience to understand the beauty of our feminine nature and to feel comfortable to express this freely. I had a beautiful laughing orgasm that was the playfulness of the ever-changing feminine. I felt a pure innocence in that moment, a kind of guilt-free enjoyment of being pleasured by a man I totally trust. Amazing!
The more I surrendered and released the more I felt myself expanding into the depths of my being. I felt more and more connected to everything, to God. Stas is highly intuitive so he knew exactly when and how to hold the space for me to go into this deep and profound meditation. How could I even try to describe that bliss. Surely that is why we are here on this planet :)
I remained in this bliss for some days following the massage. I noticed a new kind of openness in the way I relate to people and life. I feel lighter and more grounded in my body. I am loving myself more and more each day. I see the beauty in surrender and trust, not only during a yoni massage, but in life. Beautiful.
I will keep doing these massages now that I know the incredible potential this work has for deep healing and profound liberation from all the things preventing me from being open and authentic in everyday life. It is a blessing to be able to go on this journey into myself with an incredible healer like Stas. I can't recommend him highly enough. Stas is gentle, kind and sincere and a pleasure ;) to work with. The journey inwards is infinite and there is always a deeper place to experience your true nature. I am truly grateful for this experience. It is a special gift that I hope all women will give themselves. Taryn Walker (Reiki Alchemy)
Thanks a lot Stas for your very pleasant, sensitive and helpful yoni massage, also thanks for your Karma yoga. You helped me very much on journey to my femininity, which were already blocked in the man-man business world. You will stay in my heart. J.
I have been extremely blessed to experience Stas's incredible touch personally as well as watch him working his magic with a beautiful Shakti in front of me.
What happened to me in this experience was quite transformational. Before this I had no idea the depths of pleasure that were possible and so deep in the bed without even needing to be touched I was experiencing huge rushes of energy moving upwards and outwards through all the levels if my being. It was such a healing process I was going through extremes of feeling. Most predominantly intense pleasure (like i'd never felt before and didn't know was possible) and deep peace and stillness from within. Quite literally afterwards I was up in a cosmic realm for many hours in a total bliss state of love and divine connection.
Stas is so gentle, so loving and completely intuitive, my body was giving all the signals he needed and he knew exactly how to read me and give me what I wanted. Which really was an experience of deep connection, an opening sexually beyond what I thought possible, and helping me personally to connect my yoni, heart and soul for spiritual growth.
Watching him with another goddess taught me so much, he is consistently tuning in, in a deep state of meditation and connection himself but clearly able to teach and know how he is working.
I am so grateful for the time I have spent with Stas and what I have learnt from him. His kindness and open heart, unconditional love really struck me and he will stay deeply in my heart. Gauri
I was pretty nervous going into the experience with Stas, however, he was very professional and explained the process very thoroughly at the beginning, which helped me to feel more relaxed. He really helped to create a safe and loving space from the get-go, without judgment, which really helped me to be open to the process.
My experience was very powerful and not something I can easily describe to others and put into words. I honestly didn't know what my body was capable of, and I felt myself open up and experience sensation and pleasure in ways I never knew possible. I knew I was going through a healing process as I felt my body release and open up several times throughout the process, and I cried a lot!!
At points, it felt really difficult. It was slightly painful and uncomfortable for me to go to certain places and I almost wanted to end the session. But I'm so glad I didn't. I breathed into the process and allowed myself to open up to new and deeper levels. My first orgasm from my cervix, I cried and cried. I somehow felt myself connected to, and crying for, all the pain of the world, while simultaneously crying for the little girl inside of me who didn't feel loved. I felt myself turn into the little girl and simply release, and open up to greater love. I felt my heart open up in a magnificent way.
We slowed down a bit after that. The next orgasm from my g-spot was the most intense, incredible thing I have ever experienced. I found myself yelling and screaming (and I'm not a loud girl) and the pleasure was so intense that it was almost painful. I breathed into the experience, surrendered, and continued to remind myself to let go. And I released, and continued to open to greater love and experience even further.
After I left my session with Stas, I felt like I was on a different plane of existence. I felt amazing: light, free, open, playful, and expansive.
Since our sessions, I've known more what's possible with my body, and I'm more familiar with deeper levels of pleasure during sex. I am now able to occasionally experience orgasm from penetration alone, whereas before I never thought this was possible for me (or maybe for any women)... definitely not true!
I will never forget the experience and I have so much gratitude towards Stas for allowing me the opportunity to experience my body in that way. R.
I had several situations where a women wanted to do this essential work, but without having any prior experience in receiving intense intimate healing work, she was too afraid to commit to the full session. So instead of not doing it at all, I devised a variation of the full process, where approximately two thirds of the process is offered — stopping in the middle of stage 3. That's your body gets a deep and sensual workout, the pelvic and the yoni area get a deep massage with a lot of healing happening in that area, but no yoni penetration happens. From then on we proceed to stage 5 where the wind down processes begins.
Once this healing process is complete you are very likely be ready for the deeper, more intimate work next time. Of course you can repeat the variation process as many times as your body feels it needs, there is no goal to get anywhere, but to support your body moving at its own pace.
Also if you decided to do the variation and half way through the session you feel you'd like to continue with the full process instead you can let me know and if I don't have other commitments time-wise I'd be happy to support your spontaneous shift in your needs.
Sessions and Prices
Please choose from one of the following sessions:
1. The Full Bliss
If the work described on this page resonates with you and you'd like the full bliss experience, and especially if you have never done this work before, then this would be the perfect option for you.
The complete process takes 4 1/2 to 5 hours and sometimes longer if needed. Getting you to watch the clock and count hours while receiving would be completely counterproductive, therefore there is a fixed token, regardless of the exact time taken, making your needs the highest priority.
Price: CAD$500 (4 1/2 - 5 hours)
2. Start Close In
If you are completely new to this work, and just want to "dip your toes in" before going for the intense work, and choose to go with the process variation we will need about 3 hours.
Price: CAD$350 (3 hours)
3. The Express
If you have done this work before, you are comfortable with your body and your sexuality, and ready to dive in after a quick warm up, this 2-hour session is designed for you.
Price: CAD$250 (2 hours)
All prices include GST.
I accept cash, cheques, paypal and Interac e-transfer.
Note: this is a very intense practice for me so I never do more than one client a day, therefore I never book clients back to back, hence if you'd like to extend your session after we have started—most of the time I should be able to accommodate this spontaneous change of your needs.
If you'd like to engage your partner in this process this is possible as well. But I won't recommend doing that during your first session. We can discuss the details in person.
4. Relationship and Intimacy Coaching
You can also book me for a hands-off consulting and intimacy coaching sessions, during which we can devise a specific course of action for you to get in touch with your femininity, dramatically improve your sexuality, love yourself as you are, find peace and work on anything else intimacy- and relationships-related, that you have been struggling with and would like to work on resolving.
My mindset is all about doing less and instead learning to discover what strengths are already in you and how to access those. My main teaching would be around inner authenticity and honesty. I believe that once you embrace and love yourself as you are and show yourself to others as you are, no matter how difficult it might be, you will find peace and satisfaction in your life.
For more details please see: Sexuality and Relationship Coaching.
If this resonates with you and you're in Victoria, BC, we can meet in person. If you are not, we can do it over skype or google hangouts.
Before deciding to work with me it's very possible that you'd like to talk to me first. I'd be happy to talk to you on skype or google hangouts, or meet with you in person for tea for a brief talk. Of course if you feel comfortable to jump in right away, that works too. Just please make sure that you check in with yourself that your needs will be met.
Privacy: During the session nobody else will be in the space, but you and I.
Hygiene: You can shower here if you'd like before and after the session. I will provide towels and other necessities.
Nudity: For your and my protection I will be clothed while working with you.
Special requests: If after reading this offering you feel resonance and longing to do the kind of healing work I offer but for some reason something is missing or not the way you'd like it be please don't hesitate to contact me and share with me your needs. This is about you. If your requests don't fit into my professional boundaries I'd be happy to support you on your journey by finding someone who can offer you what you are looking for.
Homework and Self-Study: Regardless whether we get to work together or not, I highly recommend that you study the following articles:
- Little Things to Dramatically Improve Female Sexuality
- 8 Types of Female Orgasms To Bring Into Your Life
Men: I was trained to work with women, so if you are a man wanting to receive a similar type of hands-on healing, please find another practitioner who works with men. If I have recommendations of such practitioners I will add them here in the future.
I do provide Sexuality and Relationship Coaching for men. And you will find some very powerful sexuality training teachings (for men and women) at Experiential Sex Lab.
Unlike some other types of mind-body work, this work requires integration. During these sessions you are likely to experience one or more peak experiences, re-discover self-love, excitement, playfulness and receive various insights on the physical, emotional and mental levels. You are likely to leave here feeling "high".
As you know every "high" is followed by its opposite "low". After a few days the high energy and the ecstasy tend to wear out and the old reality and the old ruts tend to kick in. This may lead to an uncomfortable experience. Often the "down" feels worse than what you felt before the session, since the higher you climb the worse it feels when you come down.
This is a normal transition experience, as the new energy and the insights get integrated and you start making choices that lead you towards a consistent higher well-being state.
Except, often it's very hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, when the "light" suddenly goes out.
Therefore, I highly recommend to plan an integration stage, before embarking on this process.
You may choose to work with me to support you, or you may already have a good support team that can take care of that integration process. The latter will only be suitable if those who support you are on the same page with where you want to be, and not drag you back to your old self.
If you have discussed this support system with someone in your life, we can talk through details of what you would need from them to get the best support for your integration.
Of course, you are in charge of your life and we can do the work without a planned integration, but based on my experience I highly recommend you at the very least consider that.
Often my clients ask me: "How did you get into this line of work?"
I first started studying the subject of Tantric sexuality in year 2008, when I got deeply dissatisfied with my own sexuality. During my early youth I became a master at masturbating and ejaculating really fast, because I had to do it in secret. Nobody ever told me that I was setting myself up for a very unhappy sexual future. When finally I discovered that sex wasn't about masturbating and cumming as often and as fast as possible, but about making love to a women for a prolonged length of time, it was too late as my years of "solid practice" created physiological and mental habits that I didn't know how to break.
To make things even more difficult, I am one of those men, who are very sensitive to energy loss and after every ejaculation I felt really tired and low on energy to a point, where I refused to make love, unless it was done at night, just before going to sleep. For many years I struggled with premature ejaculation, until one day I decided that I can't continue like that and decided to fix it.
That's when I heard of Tantra for the first time. I started taking all Tantra workshops and trainings that I could find. And in year 2009 I met an authentic Tantric teacher from Romania that has been teaching the Tantric sciences for many decades and his teachings very strongly resonated with me. I spent the next four years studying full time at his Tantric yoga school in Thailand, completing the full 4-year program in 2012. Very quickly I learned that sexuality is but a small part of Tantra, and the science of Tantra encompassed all of life. Studying with my teacher had a huge transformational impact on my being and my life.
It took me about 2 years of hard tenacious practice to learn not to be a premature ejaculator any more and to be able to make love non-stop for several hours in a row. It was a difficult and an amazing achievement. My lovers were in heaven, I was in heaven seeing them in heaven and most importantly I now had an insane amount of energy available to me, as I no longer was losing it through ejaculation.
While on my own sexual healing journey, I became a serious student of all things sexuality and naturally started working with women, helping them on their journey to discovering the amazing gift they all have, but most are unaware of. Until then I was very happy that I was a man. After seeing what levels of ecstasy a woman can reach — I was no longer of that opinion — since my orgasmic experiences weren't anywhere close to hers.
Besides studying the energetics and mechanics of liberated sexuality I learned two other important lessons. That sexuality is a very normal aspect of human life, and that we live in a society that unfortunately makes it into a very complicated convoluted thing. If we were to drop our imposed by others inhibitions and love each other, because it's the natural thing to do, sexuality won't be that complicated.
The other is related to Tantric sciences teaching us that each one of us is God, that forgot that he or she is that. This has been done on purpose in order to help us have an infinite variety of different experiences, and grow through them. Therefore while it's very empowering to remember that we are gods, this way of thinking has a huge impact on one's relationships. It empowers us to no longer engage in mundane sex. Now it's a God and a Goddess making love to each other.
Please don't get me wrong, I don't suggest making each love making session into an elaborated ritual. It's wonderful doing it in all possible ways that lead to a fabulous experience. The only difference is that the focus now is on loving my lover and myself and not just trying to get as many orgasms as possible. Those happen, but are no longer a final destination. This seemingly minor change is actually a major one — this is because we can no longer fail at anything while making love.
Since completing my intense 4-year Tantric education, I have been integrating the acquired skills and wisdom into my daily life and work, and the experience has been nothing short of incredible. Granted it was much easier to practice Tantra back at the yoga school, where everybody was on the same page. But it was a bubble. And despite being very tempted to stay in that wonderful bubble, I realized that bringing what I learned into the "normal" world is what I needed to do, even though it has been far from an easy task.
I continuously study sexuality through taking courses and reading books, practicing conscious sexuality in my own relationships and learning a lot from my clients.
Of course there are a lot more exciting and inspiring things to tell about my journey, but I hope that what I shared so far has given you enough context to know me a little bit and more importantly to be inspired to create change in your life. I observed many women and men who went from very so-so sexuality to an amazing mastery of their sexual selves and I know that you can do it too.
Moreover, the more dissatisfied you are with where you are at intimacy-wise, the more energy you will have to get onto that train of transformation and most importantly to want to stay on it, despite it taking potentially a long time to arrive. Life is a journey and not a destination. And the rewards of that journey are absolutely worth it.
One thing is certain — you have nothing to lose, and everything to gain, by embarking on the journey of discovering and embracing your latent sexual self.
If you have questions or would like to book an appointment, the best way to establish a communication with me is by first emailing me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
The sessions are right next to downtown Victoria, BC, near the main bus routes if you are on foot. Ample free street parking is available if you drive. And if you cycle, there is a bike locker right in front of the building. I work out of my place, located in the apartment building, and which is cozy, private and very quiet. The exact address will be provided upon booking.
I offer various other types of healing work in Victoria, BC.
Stas Bekman <email@example.com>.